Every one of us has had to have faced a family member or friend who is hypocritical very often. They always find faults or advise you about your personality, job, habits, etc., and can hurt your self-confidence badly. On the other hand, they never seem to follow their advice themselves. Here, we offer a few tips on how to deal with hypocrites, to arm yourself with when faced with such a situation.
Doing this is never easy. You have to be alert at all times. People might simply exude sincerity in their mannerisms and words, but one should still be cautious and not accept a person at face value. Every person, including yourself, should prove themselves multiple times, before becoming worthy of trust.
If a person is judging and pointing faults at you, it is important that you not feel guilty. You know your situation best, and your reasons for your behavior. Keep things in perspective to be stress-free. You don’t have to listen just because they are talking.
While hypocrites do not follow their own advice, most of the time their inputs comes out of a genuine concern for you. While their constant criticism can be overbearing, finding the reasons behind their behavior can definitely lessen the stress on you.
No matter how strong one’s beliefs are, no human has been able to match their actions accordingly, all the time. Compromises are constantly made, and deeds are done which contradict our thoughts. So, to a certain degree, each one of us is a hypocrite. Unfortunate though it is, this is a deeply embedded part of human society.
Being upfront and honest with co-workers or family members about your feelings on their hypocrisy will ensure that they will not bug you for a while. However, it can also lead to hurt feelings and blocks in relationships, which is why calmness and politeness is very important. This approach takes practice and thought, which may not be easy for everyone. But the rewards are worth it.
This should be the last resort, as ignoring the person will not really make the problem go away, but only delay the next confrontation. This measure is only to be used if you cannot resolve your differences after repeated attempts, and you find that the hypocrisy is actually harming you.
If a hypocrite criticizes you, sincerely take a look at what he is saying, and whether it is genuinely a good solution to the problem. Remember, it is not important whether you are right or wrong, but that the situation is completely resolved. You might find that their advice benefits you in the end, even if they don’t follow it themselves.
Directly accusing a hypocrite of not practicing what he preaches is useless, as such people tend to immediately go on the defensive, and try to divert the attention back onto you or someone else. Your best bet would be to use subtle suggestions which will gradually bring their attention to what they are doing, and if and when they do follow through, make sure to be appreciative, without pointing out their past faults.
A good way to dismiss hypocrites is to listen to them silently, and afterwards share your feelings about the absurdities with your friends, to get it off your chest. If the hypocrite is your friend, confide in a family member, and so on.
It is important to get rules defined as to one’s duties, and think about the situations which bring out hypocritical behavior in a person. This will allow you to be prepared well in advance. Now you can persist in your resistance, or accept that the person will not change, and that you are the better person.