Friends are an extremely important part of our lives. They are the ones who are always there with us in our ups and downs, and add value to our lives. However, it sure can become hell if you end up having a phony pal. So, how do you know if the friendship is toxic?
“You got nothing to lose. You don’t lose when you lose fake friends.” ― Joan Jett
True Friends Are A Blessing.
Friendship is indeed a beautiful thing, especially if you’re blessed with true friends. They are the ones who always have your back. They always accept you for who you are, and don’t judge or do anything that might hurt you. There’s a mutual understanding and a sense of security that you both share. You can share the deepest of secrets and fears, and still not worry about being judged. Like any other relationship, this too is a two-way traffic equation, and is based on give and take.
But what happens when this give and take suddenly changes to take, take, and take, or give, give, and just give? Yes, this is one of the indications that your so-called friend might just be pretending to be your best friend. There are flaws and shortcomings in friendship too. All of us, at some point in our lives, have come across this friend who looks like this finest piece of gold on the outside, but in the end is just fake inside. It is hard to tell their authenticity, especially when they have had a huge impact on your life. So, in order to save you the trouble and heartbreak, here are some signs that you need to watch out for if you want to identify a bad friend.
Signs That Tell You Have a Fake Friend
They are selfish
A fake friend will just not be bothered about you or your life, if it doesn’t concern them. They tend to be one-dimensional, and think that their needs are more important than others. They only call you when they need a favor. They feel no inclination in just hanging out with you, and are only to be seen when they are in need, or if anything benefits them.
It’s all take and take
Your friendship is all about take and take, and not give and take. This friend is always trying to acquire whatever you achieve, to satisfy his/her own needs or envy. They are behind it for selfish reasons, and also because they know you can’t say NO to them. And in turn, all you get is constant reminders of all the ‘favors’ that they’ve done for you; just try saying ‘No’ to them once, and you’ll be haunted by them for the rest of your life! So, it’s better to stay away from such toxic people.
They make you feel bad about yourself
They are constantly trying to put you down and make you feel guilty, even for the things that you haven’t done or said. Some people often reach the heights of making you guilty simply for not hanging out with them. You are constantly made to feel dumb if your opinion does not match theirs. They are great at boosting your ego by being all nice to you, but just to get things done when they are feeling too lazy or incompetent to do it themselves.
They consider themselves to be superior
Friendship is not about being inferior or superior than one another. This type of friend leaves no chance of making others feel inferior. They always like to keep a score of their and your achievements, and play their card whenever you achieve something in life. They pretend as if it’s no big deal for them.
They are jealous of your achievements
Whether you got good grades in school or got promoted at work, this fake friend of yours will always have something negative or insulting to say. Real friends are supportive in whatever you do, and always encourage you to do better in life. They recognize the potential in you, and push you towards achieving your goals. A true friend builds and helps you grow in life, and not contribute to your downfall.
They always highlight your flaws to prove themselves right
If you often feel that you’re always targeted or becoming the laughing stock when you are in group, this is because the fake friend often turns the whole group against you, just to avoid being the laughing stock. He will never accept his faults, and will always hold you responsible for them. Many people go through this and brush it off quite often, which leads them to suffer. However, make sure that you don’t behave this way, especially if you are being mocked at for no reason at all.
They are never there when you need them
This kind of friend always expects you to drop your plans whenever she needs you, whether she does the same or not. She’ll always end the call when you need help or advice, by giving some silly reasons, or will always be out of reach. It seems as if she magically disappears whenever you need her.
They are manipulative and inconsiderate
They are always complaining, and never see the brighter side of any situation. They are nice to you only when they need something, and very well know which buttons to push, including the ’emotional blackmail’ one. They are bad news, and simply don’t appreciate other people’s efforts. They are never grateful to you when you sacrifice certain things in your life to accommodate them.
They’ll gossip endlessly about everyone
They always gossip about someone or the other, just to make you believe that they are your best friend. Be careful people, if this person gossips to you about others, then there are great chances that she may be gossiping about you too behind your back. Know that they simply thrive on gossip and drama.
They are critical and constantly lie to you
They are always pointing out your flaws and criticizing each and everything, even if you are helping them out. They always criticize your choices and goals, and make fun of them instead of being a little supportive. Moreover, they constantly lie to you about everything, just to make themselves feel and look better.
They are not trustworthy
They always spill your secrets and don’t respect your privacy, which you trusted them the most with. If you hear about your problems that you had told them only from someone else, it’s high time that you reconsider your decision of being friends with this person.
They always choose a better deal
You often feel left out, almost like a third wheel, when this so-called friend of yours makes plans with you, but always cancels them at the last minute if anything more exciting comes up. For example, a date or a new person in their life. They never invite you to hang out either. Always remember, prioritize the people who prioritize you.
These were some telltale signs which may indicate that you have a toxic friend, frenemy, or a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Watch out for these signs, and pull the plug out, because it may be sucking all the goodness out of you; in short, it may be draining you emotionally, mentally, or even financially. Your life will surely be a bed of roses if you have that one true friend who’ll stand by you in your good and bad times. We’re sure most of you must have had such experiences at least once in your life. Do share them with us, in our comments section, so that all of us can be careful in the future. After all, we learn from ours as well as each other’s mistakes, isn’t it?