I'm a b*tch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed. I'm your health, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between. You know you wouldn't want it any other way, so take me as I am. This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man. Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous and I'm going to extremes, tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing. - From the song B*tch by Meredith Edwards
I thought this song was the perfect way to describe how a female sociopath would describe herself ... and trust me, she would be very proud of it! You know this is the most interesting part about her. She has no conscience, no principles, no guilt, and no remorse. She doesn't know how to empathize or love. She would tell you that she loves you, but only in words. It's not that she won't "show" the love and concern, she definitely would, but only so that you can get trapped in her charm, so that she can take everything away from you, right from your money to your self-esteem. Many experts call the female sociopath as the best actress in the whole wide world because of her ability to create a mess in your life, and still manage to get away with it while sticking on to you. She is a great manipulator, she will have a logical explanation for her every action ..., so, if you question her about something that she did, her response to that will make you question yourself instead!
Traits of a Female Sociopath
The consequences of her behavior are always somebody else's problem, not hers. She is never to blame for anything. Because she's out to control, she manipulates and punishes at will. She is the witness, the judge, the lawyer, the jury, the executioner - but never the accused. She will break the rules without a second thought, if the end justifies the means. - An excerpt from the book Venus: The Dark Side by Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary
Does this excerpt give you an idea about what you are dealing with? Well, these are just few among the many many masks that she wears, and when she let goes, she still manages to have a soft corner for herself in your heart. So, how do you identify if this 'female' you are interacting with is a sociopath? What are the traits that you should look for? Are sociopaths so easy to identify? Well, if that was the case, then there wouldn't be much of a problem, right? Nevertheless, mentioned below are some points that will help you understand how this beautiful and attractive predator uses her charms and lies to deceit you; she does it due to a mental disorder but will make you believe that you are the one who is insane!
Superficially Attractive and Decked up!
She is very attractive on the outside. You will find her decked up with the best makeup and clothes which is usually a way to hide her low self-esteem. She is also very easy to talk to. Her silver-tongued conversation will instantly attract you towards her. She is extremely confident, charming, and tends to speak with a lot of openness. This flamboyant nature of hers manages to attract people instantly towards her. She can talk logical, emotional, and can easily make you feel connected to her. But here is the trick to spot that she is a sociopath -- her smile will never reach her eyes, because everything that she says or does is superficial. She will be perfect in the way she looks, the way she talks, and the way she bonds with you! Bottom line is, that you will find her to be absolutely perfect initially, only to find out that all this is the onset of a tsuris that will make your life nothing but a chaos!
She Believes Herself to be Too Good!
Another classic characteristic of a female sociopath is that she believes that she is simply the best, be it in looks, in intelligence, or in taking control of your life! Her self-worth and superior belief is always too high as compared to others. So, if you are with a woman who says, "Why should I be doing this, these things are meant for the lowlifes?" or, "I am so beautiful and intelligent, I don't need to do this at all!", then there are chances that she can turn out to be the sociopath you should be away from! Her superior beliefs also make her arrogant and harsh towards others, but if you are the potential prey, she will treat you like there can be no one as sweet as her ... at least initially.
No Respect for Rules and Responsibilities!
For her, rules are meant to be broken, and responsibilities, why should she even care! She can never follow rules because she is way too impulsive. She cannot overcome temptations, and when she wants something, there is no rule that can stop her. Her actions are never governed by morals and she never thinks about the consequences. Therefore, you can never expect things like planning, focusing, and commitment from a sociopath. If you confront her, she will cry, she will make you believe that she will change, but then you're a fool to believe her words, and she is way too smart for you not to believe her.
Is Always Looking for Stimulation!
Another interesting thing about a female sociopath is that she tends to get bored way too easily. You cannot expect stability, or being involved in the same routine for long. Which is why she will change jobs within sort span of time, she will move from places to places living a nomadic life. She needs something new, exciting, and stimulating all the time. If drug abuse, multiple sexual partners, or abusing a person gives her a high, or stimulates her in any way, she will easily do that without giving it a second thought.
She is a Pathological Liar, To Gain Attention and Sympathy
A female sociopath is called the best actress in the whole world! You act when you need to hide your reality, and she is really good at that. She will lie to come closer to you, she will lie to gain your attention, she will lie to make you want her, she will lie to make you believe her lies and bond with her emotionally ... and when that happens, she will start to manipulate you, she will trap you in her stories and talks, and make you believe that all that she is doing is justified, at least from her point of view! She will be dishonest, deceitful and cleverly sly. If you're smart, you should get out as soon as she starts behaving like this.
She is a Parasite that Feeds on You!
If you think that she is there with you because she genuinely likes you, think again! Are you the kind of person who is financially stable, who is responsible, who believes in helping and sympathizing with others, and who can forgive and give the 'benefit of doubt'; then probably that is the reason why she is there with you. She indulges in a parasitic living. She will exploit you emotionally, financially, may be even physically to fulfill her own shallow desires. She cannot feel your pain, she has shallow emotions, and although at times, she might appear to be caring and loving, the truth is that she is coldhearted and will be nice to you only if you comply with her wishes and desires.
Difficult Childhood/Messed Up History of Relationships!
Studies show that a majority of sociopaths have a background of difficult childhood. Did she have a difficult childhood involving abuse, be it substance abuse or physical abuse? Does she come from a broken family? It has also been observed that sociopaths tend to have criminal tendencies during childhood and have been involved in instances of vandalism, theft, cheating, infidelity, and so on. As far as relationships are concerned, have you ever tried to dig into her dating history? If she is a sociopath, there are high chances that she has been involved in several relationships in the past; I won't be surprised if there are various flings as well!
She Did You Wrong Because You Asked for It!
Blame her for making your life difficult and be prepared to make it worst! She will either trap you with her fake stories and lies once again to give justification for what has happened, or she will blame you in return. She will never take responsibility for her actions and she will never agree to the fact that she is to be blamed for anything wrong. She can also show behavioral signs like anger, frustration, shouting, abusing, and becoming highly aggressive. You know what the worst part is? She will manipulate your confrontation, and revert in such a way that you will end up losing your own self-esteem. You will start having doubts about yourself, your life, your mental stability. If you expect her to serve you dinner on time, she will make you believe that expecting dinner according to your time is a grave sin; you should be punished for it and therefore, you will get dinner whenever she makes it. You are the culprit not her! In such a situation, always remember to not fall into her trap. It is she who is mentally insane, not you!
Though it is possible to somehow help young adults and children with this disorder, it is almost impossible to treat an adult with this condition. A female sociopath is considered to be more dangerous than the male one. Treating her is out of the question because she is not aware of the fact that she has a mental disorder, she doesn't see anything wrong in her, so she would never agree for a treatment. Even if she agrees that she is sick, she will use it as a pawn to gain your sympathy and attention. Therefore, if you know someone with these traits, it would be wise if you back out right now instead of being a 'good and helpful' human being with an intention to support and change the person. If anything that will change, is your life, and that too, in an adverse way. Beware and keep your distance from such people as they have tendency to even kill you! Understand that you cannot change a sociopath's mentality; at least, be wise enough to change your life in a positive way by walking out right now.