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Casual and Formal Answering Machine Greetings - Take Your Pick

Answering Machine Greetings
Need inspiration for creative answering machine greeting? Take a look at these original greetings that will make your friends and family call again and again.
Sheetal Mandora
Last Updated: Mar 26, 2018
Most households have automated machine greetings that sound very monotonous when someone calls. No originality, no flare, and absolutely no vigor; doesn't really make things better for the callers. Nonetheless, you don't have to be stuck with such boring and lifeless greetings. You can definitely convert your home, office, or cell phone greetings that show a bit of your unique personality. Depending on what type of calls come in and where you're receiving them, you too can have fun selecting serious, unique, interesting, or funny voicemail greetings. The following greetings will help you decide or inspire you into selecting one (or more) voice mail for yourself.
Casual, Fun Greetings
Want to keep things light and simple while making your callers laugh when they hear your greeting? Serious, monotonous greetings can leave the caller depressed (perhaps, not literally). What I mean to say is, keep the greeting livelier.
Hello, this is (your name). I apologize for not taking your call right now. Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back.

Hey, it's me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don't like. So if you've left me a message and I haven't called you back, then it's probably you.

Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)'s answering machine. (Your name) is not here at the moment. So, why don't we chat for sometime? beep

Hi! (long pause) Why aren't you saying anything now?
Answering Machine Greetings 1
Before you leave a message, I'd like to ask a question. How can someone keep a dork in suspense? Leave me a message and I'll get back to you on that one.

You've reached the (name) family. We can't answer your call right now. So why don't you leave your name, age, sex, height, weight, phone number, a short message, your social security number, credit card number, how many kids you have, your mother's maiden name, along with the date and time you called us. And if you've survived this message and are still listening, your message better be important.
Hello. (pause) Say something!! Aren't you gonna talk at all? Why aren't you saying something? Oh, I forgot. I need to say beep...

I finally got an answering machine. But how does this useless thing work? Aah, the record button, which I already pressed. The light is on. I wonder why the machine is not working properly? I wonder what this button right here does... beep
Answering Machine Greetings 2
Hi! This is (your name). I'm not in at the moment.
If you're the phone company, I have sent the money already.
If you're my folks, could you please send me some money?
If you're calling about my financial aid, you haven't given me enough money.
If you're my friends, you owe me some money.
If you're a girl, never mind the previous rantings, I have enough money.

'A' stands for academics, 'B' stands for beer, and 'C' stands for camping. These are just one of the reasons why I'm not here. Leave a message and I'll call back ASAP!
Hi, we are not home at the moment. If you want to sell us something that we don't actually need, start speaking now and hang up once it beeps. Everyone else, please speak after the beep and hang up once you're done.

I have amnesia and can't come to the phone at the moment. I feel stupid talking to everyone that I don't know. So why don't you forget about leaving your original message, and instead tell me my name and something important about myself. Thanks a lot.
Answering Machine Greetings 3
Professional Greetings
For office or work purposes, formal greetings are appropriate. That doesn't mean you need to sound tired or boring and speak in a flat voice. Why not try something different and get motivated by the following greetings?
Hello, this is (your name). You've caught me in a bad time at the office. Why don't you leave me your name, number, and a brief message, so I can get back to you. Thank you.

Hi, you've reached (your name) office. Either I'm away from the desk or on another line. Please leave me a brief message with your name and contact number so I can call you back. If this is an emergency, call me on (your cell phone number).
Answering Machine Greetings 4
Hi, this is (your name). I'm not available at the moment. Leave me your name, number, and reason for call after the beep. If this can't wait, call my secretary at (her cell or desk number).

Hello, this is (your name). I'm sorry but you've reached my old number. Call me on (your new number) and I will try to take your call. If you can't reach me there as well, leave me your name, number, and reason for call. Thank you.
These were just some ideas for voicemail greeting. You can definitely include your own creativity to them and make them your personal answering machine greeting. The choices are endless when you start thinking of how to add some oomph to your machine.