We all know that relationships aren’t clear cut. What works for some people doesn’t work for everyone. That’s why it’s so challenging to find relationship advice that fully resonates with our experience.
But when it comes to building healthy relationships that last, sometimes the only thing you can do is take some advice from those that have already done it. The ups and downs can seem overwhelming, and likely are, but it’s better when you realize you’re not the first to experience them.
Below we offer up some of the best relationship advice we’ve heard.
It’s Not Always About Love
Sure, being in love is great, but it’s not always what will save your relationship. Sometimes, it’s about giving yourself space to fall in and out of love with your significant other continuously.
Ups and downs are natural, and many who have been in long term relationships will tell you that you don’t always feel like you’re fully in love, but you’ll get back there.
Maintaining Your Independence Is Important
It might feel great to get caught up in an all-consuming feeling of love. But that can’t be what sustains your relationship. Eventually, you have to make choices that allow you to be your best version of yourself, even if it means prioritizing yourself over the relationship.
After all, if your S.O. loves you, they’re going to want you to be everything that you can be.
Will You Love Then Through The Ending?
Making a choice to marry someone is also making a choice to divorce them potentially. That might be an unfortunate way to look at things, but it’s also genuine.
If you suspect that you’re with someone that will be kind and fair in the end, you’re likely to want to stay with them long term. How you handle things, in the end, is often the best display of your authentic self. Make sure you choose someone you won’t hate.
Don’t Fix Others Over Yourself
We all have our own issues. It’s essential that we don’t go into a relationship trying to solve the problems of our S.O. ahead of our own. After all, we can’t fully help someone unless we’ve done that for ourselves.
One great quote we’ve found about this is “fit your own oxygen mask first.” Just like when you’re flying, make sure you’re taken care of before you put your energy into taking care of someone else.
Everybody Loves Differently
It sucks when you feel like someone doesn’t love you back in the same way. One thing you have to keep in mind is that we all love differently. What’s important is opening up to the fact that the person you love might just love you in their own way. It’s not more or less; it’s just how they love.
Put Intimacy First
Feeling anger when we’re upset is an easy place to go to, and yet, how much better off would we be if we led with intimacy? What if we tried to open up the conversation and let our feelings show rather than lashing out in anger.
No relationship is easy. They’re a constant push and pull of life lessons. But these simple pieces of advice could be a huge help.