If you are connecting well with your boyfriend’s sister, then it can have a great PR value. Especially so, if you are trying to get him to pop the question to you. Though it seems difficult to win over your boyfriend’s sister, it is not completely impossible. SocialMettle will tell you how to get along easily with your boyfriend’s sister.
“Sister in law by chance, friends by choice.”
One of my friends recently had a breakup. She and her beau were almost on the verge of getting married. I inquired about the reason, and she said that her ex-boyfriend’s sister told him that my friend was “good but he deserved someone better than her!” I thought this was rather a very mean act on the part of the ex-boyfriend’s sister. Also, the ex-boyfriend had been too naive to rest the decision of his life in the hands of his much-loved sister.
So, this is what it all boils down to. It is essential to have cordial relations with your boyfriend’s family. More so, with his sister who may be of your age. There are many benefits of being in the good books of your boyfriend’s sister. She can take your side if there is a problem with your boyfriend. She can also encourage your boyfriend to ask you for marriage or influence his parents to think in a positive way about your relationship.
To attain this, you must take consistent efforts at your end to befriend and impress her with your personality. Doing this, will end any conflicts that exist between both of you and also lead to a stronger friendship. Here are a few suggestions that will tell you how to be friends with your boyfriend’s sister.
Consult Your Boyfriend
It is always wise to know the likes and dislikes of a person, before you communicate with them. This will ensure that you will say the right things in the right manner and have a positive impact on the other person. Consult your boyfriend and ask him about the interests, behavior, temperament, hobbies, etc., of his sister. Also, ask him what are her conversational ‘warning zones’ which you need to avoid. For example, she may not like to delve too much on her weight issues so you should refrain from bringing up that topic up. Doing this will really give you an insight about her personality so that you can approach her accordingly.
Be Friendly and Kind
If she is not making the first move, you take an initiative for breaking the ice. Pay her a compliment about her beauty or clothes. Say something that she will be happy to hear. Take more interest in ‘listening’ to her than ‘talking’ about yourself. No matter how rudely she behaves, never ever say a nasty word about her in front of your boyfriend. He may not take it in the right spirit. So, be extremely friendly, polite, and kind to her so that she will start considering you as her friend.
Have Regular Conversations
According to the Mere Exposure Effect, the more you are exposed to people, there are better chances that they will like you. After you are introduced by your boyfriend, it will completely depend on you to continue to have cordial relations with his sister. This means that you will have to communicate regularly in order to let the relationship between you and her develop. This means that you might have to call her, comment on her photos on Facebook (no matter how bad they are), like all her silly posts on Twitter, speak to her everyday on phone messengers, invite her for a cup of coffee, etc.
Have a Fun Girls’ Day Out
You can arrange for a fun girls’ day out. Do all the girly things together. Enjoy a day relaxing at a spa or getting a new haircut together. Hit the mall and shop till you drop. Go to the theater and indulge in a nice romantic comedy or a chick flick. Enjoying together will help to build a bond between both of you. However, if she is into action movies and you take her to watch a romantic sob story, it may seriously backfire on you. Use the information provided by your boyfriend to know her likes and dislikes.
Seek Her Advice
People love it when you give them importance by asking their suggestions. Whether you are deciding on the shade of lipstick or buying new jewelry, consult her and she will feel happy about it. Seeking her advice will make her feel that you value her opinion and consider her to be a part of your inner circle of friends.
If you are about to throw a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend, involve her. Take her inputs, give her a task or two to complete, etc., so that she will feel that you are also giving her equal importance. You may also give her the credit for her contribution in making the party a grand success. This way, she will feel that the party was not all about you and she also got the due importance she deserved.
Pursue Common Hobbies
After talking to your boyfriend and befriending his sister, you will come to know what hobbies she enjoys in her free time. Whether it is cooking, pet grooming, painting, music, etc., you can always ask her if she wants to take classes together with you. This way, you will get to spend quality time together and get to know each other in a better way. If she enjoys reading, you can always discuss books with her or accompany her to a bookstore.
Hit the Gym Together and Share Beauty Tips
Join a gym or aerobics class to enhance your physical fitness as well as looks. Encourage your boyfriend’s sister to join you. This way, she can feel motivated for a workout. Share some of your beauty tips with her so that she feels that you consider her more as a sister rather than just an acquaintance. All this will really help in strengthening your bond.
Take a Vacation Together
You both can head off to some nice location for an ‘all girls vacation’. It is advisable that you do not ask your other friends to join in as she may feel left out if all of you keep on chatting with each other. You both can take a road trip and enjoy your vacation thoroughly. However, you have to ensure that you do not come across as an irresponsible person or someone who flirts openly with other guys as it will all get reported back to your boyfriend and his parents.
Give Space to the Siblings
It is important that you understand that, as your boyfriend and his sister are siblings, they share a different kind of attachment with each other. You should always give them space to be with each other. You must avoid clinging to your boyfriend (physically or emotionally) in her presence, as it will seem like you are trying to grab all his attention. This will not go down well with his sister, who may feel insecure and threatened.
Win Her Trust
Be there to give her a shoulder to cry on, if she has had a tiff with her boyfriend. If she confides some secret with you, it is your duty to keep it under wraps and not go on gossiping about her. It will take a lot of time for her to believe in you completely, but even one small mistake on your part will be good enough to break her trust. All you have to do is just be there for her whenever she needs you.
No Matter What, Respect Her
Okay, so you really think she needs some serious changes to her wardrobe, and the makeup she does belongs to the 80s. Don’t register your suggestions immediately. You must respect her for who she is. If she finds that you are trying to change her, she may not like it at all. Sugarcoat your words when explaining things to her. Don’t sound disrespectful or constantly criticize when telling her about the changes she needs to incorporate.
Some Useful Tips
✿ Maintain a safe distance from your boyfriend in her presence.
✿ Don’t disrespect any of their family members in front of her.
✿ Don’t be strongly opinionated about anything related to her.
✿ If she has pets, don’t forget to play with them and praise them.
✿ Avoid conflicts, and if they happen, be the first one to bury the hatchet.
✿ Don’t criticize her at any cost.
✿ Don’t argue with your boyfriend in front of her.
✿ Don’t break her trust ever.
✿ Don’t judge her, she will not like it.
✿ Don’t lose patience, keep trying to win her trust.
✿ Don’t introduce her to a friend of yours for a date, it can backfire on you.
✿ Don’t be too friendly with her boyfriend.
✿ Even if you hate her, you don’t have to show it to her.
I know that in spite of all this, if she is being outright rude to you or thinks that her brother can get someone much better, it will be difficult for you to maintain your composure. Or for that matter, if their mom has some really ‘not so cool’ opinions about everything related to you, then it is going to be a challenge for you to keep up a calm and friendly appearance. However, you must never sound disapproving or critical of their behavior. Mentally, just let go of whatever they say. Especially in front of your boyfriend, always show that you respect them. If your boyfriend gets easily influenced and behaves with you based on his sister’s or parent’s opinions, then you should really give it a practical thought if this relationship is worth it all, because when you are respecting others, you deserve to command respect in return.