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15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas - Make Yours Like These

Funny Voicemail Ideas
Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
Sheetal Mandora
Last Updated: Apr 9, 2018
Voicemails don't necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you're looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you've got to put a little bit of "you" when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn't come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.

What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality? Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off. Now since we're talking about voicemail, typically a standard greeting, embedded in by the phone companies, is so boring and mechanical. The same, "leave your message after the tone" or "you have reached"; I might just as well fall asleep listening to these automated voice records. You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call (just so they can listen to the greeting again). Funny voicemail ideas could do that trick, won't they? Whether it is for your home, office, or cell phone, set a good voicemail that will keep your callers laughing even after they've left you a message.
Ideas for a Voicemail
These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing. It's natural; not everyone has a funny bone inside them. But that doesn't mean you get stuck with a boring, cliché greeting. It has to be different and contain some kind of style. And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail. These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas (or home phone).
Voicemail #1
funny voicemail
HI, you've reached (name). I'm so sorry I can't pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.
Voicemail #2
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I'll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
Voicemail #3
Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around... beep.
Voicemail #4
Hello... pause. Hello... long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?...long pause and beep sound.
Voicemail #5
Road side cafe; you kill them and we'll cook them. Leave your order and we'll get back.
Voicemail #6
Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can't get to the phone: a) I'm with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can't remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don't wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.
Voicemail #7
hilarious voicemail
Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I'm all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
Voicemail #8
We could be in, we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.
Voicemail #9
OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So... now what? I... am... so... confused. Could you please... beep.
Voicemail #10
Hi, you've reached (name)'s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I'm totally open for suggestions.
Voicemail #11
Hello, this is (name). I am sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave your name, number, and a short message after the beep. Oh and please do wait by the phone till I call you back. Bye.
Voicemail #12
Hello... my name is (your name)'s refrigerator. He/she isn't home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets.
Voicemail #13
Mom... Dad. I know you are mad that I'm never home to take your calls. So, as a solution to this, I think you guys should give me an early birthday present: a cell phone. beep.
Voicemail #14
(make a little noise in the background). Hi, you've reached your friend's house. He/she isn't home right now and I took the opportunity to rob it. I was about to steal the machine as well and you called. After the beep, leave your name and number. I will write it on a post-it and leave it on the refrigerator for him/her to see. Oh and one more thing; where did you say you lived?
Voicemail #15
cranky voicemail
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I'll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
Weren't these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don't want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I'd like to... beep.