Why Do Women Talk So Much? The One Mystery That Still Haunts Man

Why Do Women Talk So Much?
It has been a question that has troubled men all over the world for more than a few decades - why do women talk so much! Every man on the face of this earth must have wondered at least at some point of time who in hell is even listening to the women go yap yap yap! Find answers to all these questions in this post.
SocialMettle Staff
Last Updated: Mar 22, 2018
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Amanda: Hi honey! How was the day? Did you meet that client you told me about the other day? The one from Japan?
Justin: Yeah.
Amanda: So what do you feel like for dinner?
Justin: Sandwiches.
Amanda: Oh you do? But I feel like pizza.
Justin: Then why did you ask?
Amanda: At least I did Justin, you didn't even bother to find out what I want! Why do I have to tell you all the time? Why don't you ever try to find out? You never ask me how my day was! You never even want to know what is happening in my life!
Justin: Of course I do!
Amanda: And you have just stopped taking an interest in me! You don't even look at me while you are talking Justin! I think you are tired of us...
Justin: No I'm not tired of us, I'm just tired! It's been a long day.
Amanda: Then why don't you tell me about it? I ask you how your day was and you just go and say 'nice'; talk to me honey!
Justin: Jesus, can't I just get some quiet?
(Amanda stomps off to her room. Justin is left wondering what to do...)

Does the above conversation sound familiar? Does it sound similar to one you had with your girlfriend, fiance or wife? Men are often perplexed about why women want to talk so much, and talk all the time! Many a romance were spoiled, with the woman calling it quits because there was no communication between the two, because the man suddenly seemed so distant. Happened with you too? Here I will try to make you see why your girl needs all the talk!
The Evolution of Talk in Men and Women
Women with girl
Since the time that the first man walked on earth, men have been the hunters, and women, home-makers. Men have had to be on the run, chasing animals, and bringing home the meat for the women and children. Women, on the other hand, have stayed indoors, looking after the kids, keeping the house neat and clean, and tending to the families needs. For a very long time, this is how man has lived - men hunt, women house-keep. And that is how our bodies have evolved, how our body functions have evolved. Men, having to remain focused on the kill, developed tunnel-vision; women, on the other hand, developed peripheral vision out of having to be on the watch-out to guard the entire house around them against trespassers and other threats. Men developed greater spatial abilities and skills because they had to gauge the speed and distance of the kill, women developed higher EQs (emotional quotient) because babies couldn't have possibly 'told' them when they were hungry. Men needed to be quiet and not make a sound while hunting, while women needed to talk to other women and children to communicate their needs. And that is how women began talking... and kept on talking... and are still talking! It isn't anybody's fault. It is simply a fact. It is not a question of who evolved better, but a question of who evolved how.
They Don't Just Talk A LOT, They Talk Before You
Couple enjoying coffee at cafe
Even as a common observer - if you are keen enough - you must have noticed how girl children learn to speak faster and better than boys. Girls are able to speak complete sentences and begin talking like grown-ups at quite an early age. Boys tend to start talking at a later age. An average woman speaks about 6000 to 8000 words a day, while men speak hardly 2000 to 4000 - no wonder guys are always complaining women nag! However, the feeling of being nagged arises because men think women are asking them for solutions all the time, when actually women just want to be heard out. Now isn't that some good news - you just have to sit back and listen! It is important to a woman that she be heard UNINTERRUPTED. So next time your girlfriend is talking - let her! She wants you to LISTEN, not interrupt with solutions she is not looking for!
What Talk Means to Women
A Means To Build Relationships...
Couple filling document
Women talk so much because they see talking as a means of developing a relationship, of creating a bond. For women, talking is not merely a means of communication; it is a process that continues to reassure people around them that they care for them and also that they are important to them. Men cannot comprehend this because they evolved as 'providers' of the family. Men are goal driven and result oriented. For them, talking is a way to communicate outcomes, facts and solutions. That is also why 'man-talk' tends to be more concise and articulate and less animated than 'woman-talk'.
A Way To Sort Out Problems...
We need to talk
Women use talk to sort out problems. Give a woman 7 things to do and ask her to do them by the end of the day, and the first thing she will do is start talking; "Okay, so I can pick up my dress from the laundry when I go to drop Jimmy to school, and then I can go to the grocery store. Oh, maybe I can call Whitney over at the store - she was going to tell me about that new boss of hers..." Do the same to a man, and he will just pick up his car keys and leave. No loud thinking, no listing things, no discussing what to do after what and then what.
A Way To Maintain Harmony in the Household...
Woman cooking
Women often use the indirect speech while talking. When Amanda asked "What do you feel like for dinner?" in the above conversation, she had already decided what she wanted for dinner. But to avoid possible conflict and confrontation, she first asked Justin what he wanted. Justin on the other hand, simply took it as a question and gave an answer. This technique of indirect speech evolved because as a home-maker, women had to take into account the needs and feelings of everybody in the family.
When Talking Pays
Teacher explaining globe
When you want to be motivated, you do not go to a man to perk you up! He will tell you how to do a thing, no matter how complicated it is - but only a woman can tell you how to prepare to actually do the thing; a man would think it unnecessary and may interpret it as an inability or a shortcoming. A man would never tell you to relax, calm down, clear your head and thoughts, take a deep breath and then enter the CEO's cabin for an interview. At the same time, a woman will feel she is not being supportive if she does not do that. That is why most teachers, translators, salespersons, counselors are women - because these are all professions that require good talking skills. And by good I do not mean precise and concise and to the point; I mean elaborate, sensitive and emotive.
One of the Reasons is You!
Stress women
Do not take that sentence too literally; but one of the reasons women talk so much is also because they feel men are not really listening when they are talking! I do not blame you, for I totally understand and believe that you guys do listen to us; but I do not blame the girls either. Women are more expressive and use more hand gestures and facial expressions while talking AND LISTENING. You talk to a woman, and even if she doesn't say anything she will respond with Ohs, Ahs, Yeahs, Awwws, I Knows and the like, and all in different pitches and tones too! While men are completely silent but attentive while listening to someone talk. They concentrate on what is being said, but are totally neutral. Women often misread this as a lack of interest and go on to constantly ask for confirmations, and if they are unconvinced, they will go and repeat what they said. Men on the other hand always think - 'My God! All these women going yap yap yap all the time... is anyone even listening?' As hard as it may seem to believe, we actually are listening and following everything, without missing a beat! Even when we are simultaneously talking about multiple things and also probably doing a few things while we are talking. We have heard everything anyone around us has said. So the next time you think your wife is cooking and not listening to you, be careful of what you say!
There are very simple ways to deal with all that talking happening around you... just learn to segregate between the 'only listen to' and 'give solution to' talks. Now you may ask how to do that. Simple - ask your girlfriend/wife - 'Are you looking for answers? Or do you just want me to hear you out?' Its as simple as that. I believe in your observation skills as a man, so I am sure you will soon be able to distinguish when your woman is talking to be heard out on your own, without having to ask her. Men asking why women talk so much is like women asking why men don't talk at all - just the way you know that's not true, women too cannot understand that they are talking too much! It happens subconsciously... If both the partners develop an understanding of the way things are, they will be able to live better with each other! Cheers!