Loneliness breeds an immense number of thoughts. Few negative, fewer positive. That is why, being the 'social animals' that we are meant to be, we seek the company of others to eliminate the void in our lives. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, building the right relationship with anybody seems like a challenge.
Every time we meet someone new, which is rare with people who have poor social skills, we hope to connect in a meaningful way with that person but something is always amiss. Maybe we are lacking the knowledge of some basic social behavior. Maybe that's where we need to make the change. Maybe this guide will help you along.
Focusing on the negative, nagging and complaining about all the wrong that life has put you through, is going to drive away all your listeners. Agreed, that some of the best friendships have emerged from a common ground of complaints, but you just cannot complain all the time.
After a point, even you wouldn't like to listen to yourself complain. So, incorporate a positive thinking approach in your life. Your mind will then tune itself to only one train of thought, a positive one. Maintaining a positive attitude will definitely attract more people into your life, and is one of the best ways to start improving your social skills.
Thinking you are not good enough to engage in a good conversation with someone, or not good enough to befriend someone, is going to leave you alone in this world. Build on your positives, downplay the negatives, and see where this renewed self-image takes you.
He/she is talking to you with the hope that you will understand his/her problems or dilemmas and probably give some advice. Sometimes, people aren't even looking for advice. All they want is for someone to listen. You could be that someone. Don't ignore yourself but don't be self-centered. It is bound to help.
Remembering little details about the opposite person's life will actually show that you have been listening, and further strengthen the bond with that person. Keep yourself up-to-date about the happenings in his/her life, but ensure that he/she has updates about yours too. It is a mutual bond after all.
Actions do Speak Louder than Words
Body language matters a lot while communicating with others. Often called a means of silent communication, your body language can actually tell if you mean what you say.
Having the right body language, and giving out the right vibes (vibes do exist- both positive and negative) make a lot of difference in your interaction with others. You don't always have to verbally claim that you are genuinely interested. Let your body language speak for you.
Always see whether it is constructive, or whether it is stemming out of jealousy. If it is legitimate, do something to change that fact about you. If it is stemming out of jealousy, relish the fact that someone doesn't like you because of the genuine person you are.
Do Unto Others, As You Would Have Others Do Unto You
Love begets love. Similar is the case with any other feeling. Treating others with the same respect that you would like to receive from them, is an important method of developing strong social skills. This is the law of reciprocity.
Human beings will only reciprocate the feelings they have been treated with. Thus, your attitude towards them matters the most. It does not matter what you say because it is the feeling behind the words that make up this important attribute about you.
Be Diplomatic or Be Silent
If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all. It will save you the regret of saying something you shouldn't have. Sometimes, genuine criticism is required; however, in most cases a sticky situation can be avoided if you just keep mum. So, if you are unaware of the art of diplomacy, you might as well not say anything at all.