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How to Rebuild a Broken Friendship and Regain Your True Friend

Mrunal Belvalkar Apr 19, 2019
It hurts to lose a friend. The emptiness brought upon by a broken friendship can fill your life in such a way that it leaves you aching all over. Can you rebuild a broken friendship? Yes you can. How? Find out in this post.
Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?
~ Nelly Furtado (All Good Things Come To An End)
This song must be reminding you of your best friend. A misunderstanding, and inflated egos, may have drifted you apart. You misss him/her badly! This song may have made  you reminisce about all the good times spent together.
No two people are same; you are unique, just like everyone around you! It is expected that some or the other day you are going to disagree, argue and fight with your friend. Some arguments are trivial, some make the friendship sink. Initially you feel all moral and right and just; you think it wasn't your mistake, and your friend should apologize to you.
But as you calm down, you begin to realize that the thing that hurts the most is not that you fought, but that you are not with your friend anymore! How do you rebuild a broken friendship? How do you win over a friend again? Well, it is quite possible. Here's how.

Mending a Broken Friendship

Assess and Accept

Don't: Play the blame game, be adamant and take things for granted.
Instead: Inspect, introspect, and take responsibility.
It is important you try to assess two things - why the friendship went kaput, and how much damage has been created. These are the key points. Asking yourself the first question (why did the friendship go kaput) will help you figure out what went wrong, and how much of it was your fault.
Sometimes you might drift apart from your friend because some of his/her actions or words may have hurt you; your friend could drift apart from you for similar reasons.
On the other hand, if your friendship has gone sour because of a fight, chances are it was not only your friend's fault. Get rid of the feeling that it was completely your fault or completely your friend's fault. Any relationship is always give and take; action and reaction.
Miracle Tip: Listen to your conscience; it will never lie or misguide you.

Take the First Step

Don't: Wait for an opportunity.
Instead: Seize the moment.
There is never a good time to say sorry, except now. If your conscience feels guilty, do not ignore it, do not avoid it, and do not muffle the voice arising from within your conscience. It is one of the most important things that makes you humble and humane.
'Sorry' is a very powerful word. It can dissipate many negative emotions in a jiffy. It is the best way to break the ice. It could also be that your friend has wronged you, or has acted in a way that seriously put you off or hurt you. If you are still longing to be friends again, you can still take the initiative.
Call up your friend and lay your heart out on the table. Tell him/her how much you miss him/her and how much you wish things could go back to the way they were before you fell out. If they've hurt you, tell them you feel raw about it. However, show your willingness to forget and move on.
Miracle Tip: Take the first step today, right now! Call up your friend after you are done reading this. If you don't do it now, you will never be able to. On the other hand, if your friend calls you up to apologize, accept the apology and move on.

Selective Memory

Don't: Brood over what happened.
Instead: Reminisce about the happy times.
"More than half of the things we forget are not worth remembering."  Corollary of the statement would be - "At least some of the things we forget are worth remembering." This is what I call selective memory. Make an effort to forget the bad memories. Bury the hatchet. Instead, bank on the good times you had with your friend.
This is a common mistake we do - we do not let ourselves forget the bitterness; we hold on to it, cling onto it, as if our life depends on it. Why? Use selective memory to your advantage.
Go through old photographs together, watch your favorite movie together. Do things you used to enjoy doing together. Spend time together anew. What happened in the past may have left its imprints on both of you. So do not assume anything. Get to know each other all over again.
Miracle Tip: Get rid of all negativity. Pour your anger and bitterness out onto a piece of paper, tear it up, and throw it in the trash can. Better still, light it up. As downright kiddish and ridiculous as it sounds, it will cleanse you.

Things You Can Do

Arrange a Get Together

Not sure whether your friend will agree to catch up with you?, Think your friend is still raw about what happened? or cannot face your friend alone?
Then, it will be a good idea to arrange a get together instead of meeting your friend one-on-one. Call your common friends. They will help you break the ice.

Ask a Friend to Play Mediator

If you and your ex-friend have a common friend who is close to both of you, and who has been with both of you through the whole incident, ask him/her to play the mediator. Their point of view can help you both gain a fresh perspective about it.

Take Up a Hobby Together

This is one of the best ways to fix a broken friendship. It will help you spend time with your friend on a regular basis. It will ensure the renewed contact does not wither away.
It is important to remember that, people change. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do about a situation. If you and your friend have merely drifted apart, it may be difficult to restore the old equation. It may also happen that your friend is unable to forgive you for what happened. But it doesn't harm to give it a try, right?
Give it your best shot, and then leave it up to fate, destiny, karma, whatever it is you believe in. If it is meant to be, it will come back to life. Every person who enters your life has a role to play; and they leave when their part is over.
Holding onto a person who has left is like trying to hold together the broken pieces of glass. Make peace with the present, but only after you have tried your best to revive the friendship. Pick up the phone, and call up your friend. Do it RIGHT NOW! Wish you luck!