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How to Deal with Liars

Rohini Mohan Oct 6, 2018
What would you do, if you realize that you are being lied to? How would you find out the truth? Well, discussed here are the ways to deal with liars in the best possible manner, so that you do not fall for their traps...
Why do some people lie all the time? Is it fear, insecurity, or some form of sadistic pleasure, which drives these people to deceive people? We may never really be able to tell for sure, nonetheless, lying has and will forever remain an inherent part of the human personality.
We all lie and we all have lied, many times over in our lives. It may have been for something trivial, or perhaps for the greater good. The fact remains that we too are not that innocent.
However, there is a huge difference between lying, and being a compulsive liar. Between being not honest for an instant, and being dishonest time and again! It would be safer for us, to build a defense mechanism against such traits and steer clear from people who we believe are deceiving us.
Those who find lying frivolous, would know that a lie requires a string of many lies in order to keep the statement believable. The only way one can detect lies and catch the liar, is a good judge of people and to find out their ulterior motive. Nonetheless, things get tricky when you are being framed, and wrongful allegations are being made against you.

Dealing with Liars at Work

Some people lie because, bringing other people down, and making them look bad helps them feel better and superior. It helps them feel good about themselves and it boosts their ego and moral.
However, when an employee lies at the workplace, it can spell disaster for the entire internal management and the overall reputation of the organization.
» The moment you hear or realize that someone is lying to you or making false statements about you, you must clarify the fact by pointing out the truth. You must prove with concise points or facts, that the person is lying.
» If you're in a workplace, and your subordinate is lying to you, allow him or her to finish their justification. After the person has said whatever he or she came to say, begin a slow and steady tirade of logically sound and calm questions which attack the validity of their statements.
» It is important that you be calm and not lose your temper. If you show anger or irritation, you will not get the answers which will help you know the actual truth or the fact that the person is lying. One of the traits of habitual liars; is that they gain pleasure by troubling people. Do not give them that sense of satisfaction, and loathing towards you.
» Instead it is safer to maintain your cool demeanor and find out the actual motive of the person.

» Speak to the other employees in private and evaluate the input you obtain about the person's character. Has he/she been lying and cheating others as well? If so, then strict action must be taken against the liar.
» Another brilliant way to catch the liar by his nose, is to have casual gathering beside the water filter or coffee machine. Now, bring up the topic of dispute with a humorous undertone and observe how the liar reacts. If he/she seems embarrassed or threatened, then you have found your answer and can be sure about his/her dishonesty!

How to Handle Children Who Lie

It so happens, that children often lie to adults because they are afraid of being punished or reprimanded.
The best solution would be to encourage the child to come out with the truth or to not speak lies, as it is a bad habit.
Let them feel secure enough in the knowledge that they will be respected and praised for their honesty. If they do something wrong they will not be punished, but will be warned politely. The child must be made aware, that what he/she did was incorrect and should not be repeated.
Sometimes children boast and exaggerate about things, which is fine to a large extent. However, when they purposely try to lie and cheat their friends or parents, that's when the root cause of the issue must be found out. Parents will need have patience and be kind with their child, in order to find out why their child is misbehaving.
Maybe, the child feels insecure or uncared for, and is misbehaving, to gain the attention of his parents. Or maybe the child feels unloved, which is why he has been venting his anger and frustration on others, by lying and ill-treating them. Be kind, loving and understanding towards your child and soon he/she will come out with, what has been troubling them.

Lying in Relationships

Couples need to communicate in order to know exactly what is troubling them and hampering their relationship.
If you feel suspicious about your partner's fidelity, you must bring it out into the open rather than wasting time sneaking around, and finding out about what they may be up to behind your back. Sometimes, people lie to their partners because they feel ashamed or inadequate, when they fail to fulfill the promises they made.
At times they lie because they have done something wrong, and are afraid of getting caught. Ask them the questions which have been bothering you, fearlessly.
Realize that you do not owe each other anything, and that your relationship did not begin as an obligation. If one wishes to be free and move on in life, then they are free to leave. They must realize than nothing, not even you, is holding them back.
The reason could be something as drastic as cheating on your partner or as simple as being secretive because they wish to give you a happy surprise. Weigh your options carefully before you react and check as to why they might be behaving in a certain manner and if there is some logical conclusion or motive behind their words and actions.
Nonetheless, it is very difficult when dealing with liars and manipulators, and at some point a line has to be drawn between what is acceptable and what can no longer be accepted any further!