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How to be Witty

Mukta Gaikwad Oct 12, 2018
A person who can make others laugh, leaves an indelible impression. Being witty is all about giving your knowledge a fresh perspective. Wit helps you look at situations in a fun way. It's about saying the right thing at the right time, at the right place. Knowing how to be funny gives you an edge over others!

Good Listener

Effective listening skills go a long way in being witty. If you listen with a keen ear, you'd be in a better position for making powerful comebacks.
At first, be participative in the conversation, with expected responses and gestures. Towards the end, when you've understood the background, change the mood with your witty retorts.


Know the mood of the person and situation. A lot is perceived by body language, if observed carefully. Posture, speech, intonations, usage of words and clothes, can say a lot about a person's mood in that moment. It is also important to take into consideration the situation you are in.
One can't be witty at a funeral, (how much you hate the dead person!). Use your wit in casual chats with your friends, amongst colleagues and in jocund family gatherings. Using funny, witty short sayings at such occasions, (at the right time) is the best way of casting a good impression.


Wittiness can be taken as an offense by anybody. There's a fine line between being witty and being offensive. As the adage goes, 'think twice before you speak'.
You need to work on your voice modulation and intonation, while making witty retorts. Also, you need to know where to stop. If people around you aren't smiling, then you need to tell them you meant no offense in a polite manner, and stop your act.
Realizing the fact that you are offending someone is also crucial. Being witty can be perceived as being rude too, if you accidentally hurt someone. Not everyone can take a joke or some sense of humor in the right spirit.
It is also likely that someone who usually is jovial might be in a bad mood at a given time. Thus, a small apology in case of an unintentional offense will help you gain your ground back.


To be witty, you need to be good at making conversations. Try your hand at a few conversation starters, to know how to start them in the first place. It is best to avoid monologues or narrations of events of the past.
Remember that most people are interested in themselves. Thus, beginning with a compliment, talking about their interests, congratulating them for their achievements, etc., will give you an excellent hold on the situation.
One trick that always works for starting a conversation is to talk about movies or books, as you'll always find people who like either option or even both. A witty conversation is always the one that counters what is said. Thus, keep the person interested by letting him contribute as a fodder to your witty lines!


You will have to be well-versed with one liners and catchy phrases, to make a witty conversation. It is the artistic play of words, and knowing when to say what, that makes one witty.
With a little practice of good timing and delivery, you will soon get a hang of making entertaining conversations. A quick understanding of the situation and a good vocabulary to make it seem like a fun one is the key to being witty, and it always works.
Avoid using cryptic references to the situation just because you feel the need to be funny. It is very important that your witty response is understood by the crowd. Simple language and clear speech works the best and will always help in getting the attention of a larger audience.

Witty One Liners

► I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
~ Shirley Temple
► We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
~ Unknown
► They say that the first Black Hole was discovered in 1916, but marriage has been around a lot longer than that.
~ Unknown
► Even on Valentine's Day, my secret admirers take the secret part seriously. Good for them.
~ Unknown
► It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
~ Albert Einstein
► Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
~ Unknown
► Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
~ Samuel Goldwyn
► Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.
~ H.L. Mencken
► People have one thing in common: they are all different.
~ Unknown
► I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
~ A. Whitney Brown
► Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.
~ Drebin
► Wasting time is an important part of life.
~ Unknown
► Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
~ Honoré de Balzac
► Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
~ Groucho Marx
Trying too hard would only make you seem needy and attention seeking. So, these were a few tips to be witty and funny. Being an attentive listener and making a quick but a simple response is the best way of making your wit noticed.