Funny Things to Say to Telemarketers

Don't Lose Your Cool, Say These Funny Things to Pesky Telemarketers

If you think it is about time you got back with a vengeance with those telemarketers who keep calling you at odd hours, then fret not! Here are some funny things to say to telemarketers.
SocialMettle Staff
Last Updated: Feb 26, 2018
Have you often had this annoying experience of receiving unwanted calls when you are either enjoying yourself somewhere or really busy with some work? I have always been disturbed with exasperating calls just when I am about to have lunch or out watching a movie. The only reason I may have attended them is because I was expecting an urgent call! Well, it goes without saying that my exasperation knows no bounds after being tormented by such callers. One such day, when I yelled at a telemarketer, a friend of mine advised me not to lose my cool and tackle things in a different way. It was about irritating others rather than getting hot and bothered. Well, he explained to me various funny things to say to telemarketers, especially the very persistent ones! I must say, we brainstormed and did come up with various options. I have compiled many things one can say to these telemarketers, which would invite loads of laughs.
Funny Ideas
  • When a persistent telemarketer calls you up, the one thing you can do to irritate him/her is talk gibberish and at a full speed. This would surely take the caller by surprise; before you know it, the call would be disconnected!
  • When the marketer starts talking about various offers, you can irritate him/her by ordering a large pizza with extra toppings. Ask for some ice soda as well, and keep on blabbing about it till he/she cuts the line in frustration.
  • Interrupt the conversation and ask the caller whether he/she would like to buy some goods instead. Talk about an exotic clothing line you have or the latest in home decor. Sell your 'products' to the telemarketer, and chances are that the person will just hang up.
  • This is another funny idea to bug telemarketers who chew your brains to no end. The moment a person asks you, 'Hello! How are you?', reply saying, 'I need to tell you about some problems.' Talk about how your cat is chewing the rug and how the milkman never turns up on time!
  • Start singing songs, possibly in some other language. Better still, you can even make your own compositions!
  • Talk like a recorded voice mail message. You can pretend to say, 'I am busy in a meeting right now. Please do not even bother to leave your message after the beep!' Remember to imitate the beep sound in an exaggerated way.
  • Ask the caller his/her name, and then exclaim and yell as if he/she is your long lost friend.
  • Ask the caller what he/she is wearing!
  • You can even tell the caller that you are out busy with friends and having dinner. Therefore, you can ask for the caller's personal number and say, 'The reason I want your number is simply because I can also call you up whilst you are eating, and you can then know the feeling!'
  • Flirt on the phone! Begin by saying, 'How about meeting me up personally to explain all this?', or ask the person, 'Are you a blonde? I simply love blondes!'

If you feel you are not really cut out for playing pranks on telemarketers, then you have the simpler option of simply blocking such calls. But even then, you can still use these ideas to have a few good laughs!
Man singing on mobile phone