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Really Helpful Tips on Dealing with Rejection in a Positive Way

Dealing with Rejection
Rejection is something that every person has to face one time or the other in their life. Whatever the reason, there are many people who take it in a negative sense, which can lead to depression and lower their self-esteem. Here are some tips about handling refusal in a positive way in your personal and professional life.
Deepa Kartha
Last Updated: Apr 9, 2018
Oftentimes, people find it difficult to face refusal, making them anxious, hurt, dejected, and depressed. In extreme situations, such people can even harm themselves or others. We all have different levels of tolerances. However, reducing the rejection-induced stress by thinking that it is temporary and will eventually go away can help deal with the situation better. We have to practice to let go our negative emotions and concentrate on overcoming them. Though it may seem to be difficult, it is essential for having a successful and happy life ahead.
Rejection at School
When children feel rejected
Children feel rejected when they are...
... not accepted as a part of popular groups
... not selected for group activities
... laughed at, teased, bullied, and even ridiculed
... punished for a misdeed
They come to terms by
They can come to terms by...
... trying to make friends with other children
... refraining from talking ill about others
... learning new social and interpersonal skills
... sharing their thoughts and feelings with a close friend so that they do not feel alone
Make them feel secured
Helping them deal with the situation
Make them Feel Secured
♦ Make them a part of groups which accept them easily, to evoke a feeling of security.
♦ If your child is getting bullied at school, bring it to his teacher's notice immediately.
♦ Encourage group activities by making your child socialize occasionally to remove his mental block.
Encourage and Appreciate
Encourage and Appreciate
♦ Parents and teachers should appreciate children when they do good work. This will give them a feeling of acceptance and motivate them to do better.
♦ Understand your child and correct him, if wrong.
♦ Ask him to call his friends at home for a small party to help him mingle with them.
♦ Find out what his interests are, and encourage him to develop and excel in those.
Constructive Criticism
Constructive Criticism
♦ Ask your child to introspect and see if he has done anything to trigger rejection.
♦ If your child is reprimanded at school, he may feel dejected and angry. It is very important to make him take responsibility for his actions by explaining the repercussions.
♦ Make him learn from his mistakes so that the same actions are not repeated.
Rejection by Family
A child feels abandoned when
A child may feel abandoned when he is...
... abandoned by a parent
... constantly compared with other siblings
... not loved by a parent
... constantly berated
Dealing with parental refusal
Dealing with parental refusal by...
... not taking the blame on themselves
... harboring positive thoughts
... sharing their feelings with a parent, guardian, or counselor
... trying to bring their parents together
... ignoring the comparisons between siblings, and developing individual goals and expectations
Boosting their Confidence
How parents can help
Boosting their Confidence
♦ Children of divorced or separated parents feel abandoned and hurt, and often blame themselves for the divorce. Help them understand it's not their fault and that they shouldn't feel guilty about the differences in the family.
♦ Make them feel secured and wanted.
♦ If one parent has disowned/deserted the child, the other needs to play the role of both parents by giving the child special attention and making him feel loved.
Mothers hand holding kids hand.
Emotional Equivalence
♦ Constant comparison with an elder or younger sibling will deplete their self-esteem. As a parent, you will have to highlight the good qualities of children and encourage them.
♦ Give your children unconditional love and affection.
♦ Create a strong emotional bond with your children, where they will learn to trust you.
Professional Counseling
Professional Counseling
♦ If needed, do not hesitate to give your child professional assistance. It will help identify the root cause of a problem and solve it.
♦ You do not want your child to grow up with a feeling of rejection which he may carry all his life.
Rejection by a Lover
When people feel rejected in love
People feel rejected in love when...
... a partner leaves them
... prefers the company of someone else
... puts the onus of the breakup on their actions
... blames them for not giving him/her space
Woman lost in thought
They should rather
Manage Negative Emotions
♦ Always remember that your emotions are a powerful tool which can make or break you.
♦ Instead of brooding and feeling guilty, take a while to think what went wrong.
♦ Talk to a close friend or family member who would be able to help and guide you.
♦ Do not sit and cry over the person who rejected you.
♦ It is indeed difficult but not impossible to get over a breakup.
Go out and have fun
Go Out and Have Fun
♦ Go out with friends and do things that you like to do.
♦ Keep yourself occupied. Listen to music, watch movies, read books, or pursue a hobby.
♦ Groom yourself to feel better and confident.
Cut off all contact
Cut Off all Contact
♦ Avoid communicating with him.
♦ Avoid finding out what's going on in his life.
♦ Live your own life and let him live his.
Learn from Mistakes
Learn from Mistakes
♦ It's time to move on. Tell yourself that you'll find someone who will love you as much. Be positive and have an open mind.
♦ Don't be in a hurry to start another relationship. Get to know the person better.
♦ Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.
Rejected for a Job
When a person feels rejected in a job
A person may feel rejected when...
... turned down at an interview
... considered incapable
... criticized for his weaknesses
... he loses the job to another candidate
Accept Failure
To cope up they should
Accept Failure
♦ Always tell yourself that it is OK to fail sometimes.
♦ Instead of fretting, an honest self-introspection can help understand what went wrong.
♦ Be objective in listening to constructive criticism, do not listen to people who point out your faults without substantial reasons.
♦ Learn from your mistakes and work on your pain points to get through the next interview.
Aim Higher
Aim Higher
♦ Keep looking for better opportunities, you will definitely find something that will take you professionally ahead.
♦ You can observe and consult your peers who have undergone a similar situation and have learned how to tackle it.
♦ Always think of career setbacks as opportunities.
♦ According to Bo Bennett, a refusal is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.
Positive Notes
Move on: Do not dwell on rejection for long, try to find ways to achieve success in your personal and professional life.

Don't lose self-esteem: No matter what, do not allow negative feelings to plague your mind.

Get ready for a new life: You are going to embark upon something new very soon. Be it starting a new job or entering a new relationship, it's going to change your life in some way. Get ready for the change, start life anew.

Be positive: In relationships, rather than focusing on what is wrong with you, think about your good qualities.

Wounds into wisdom: Make the emotion of pent up anger work in your favor by taking efforts to achieve success.

Look before you leap: Think twice before entering a new relationship. Restrict yourself from getting emotionally attached too early. It is always better to know about a person completely before getting involved with him. If it's about venturing a new job, re-analyze your strengths, weaknesses, and see what kind of job suits you best. Reflect on yourself, your qualities before you take the leap onto what's waiting for you.
Do not let rejections affect your present and future. As Oliver Goldsmith has rightly said,"Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." Heal your wounds, get over the pain, and move forward in life!