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So You Think You're Honest? Here are the Common Lies People Tell

Rujuta Borkar Nov 24, 2018
Lying, sometimes, becomes the very prerequisite for basic survival. Here are some of the funniest and ridiculous lies that people tell.

When They Lie

Want to catch someone lying to you? Pay attention to their body language―they will generally blink more rapidly than usual and start talking faster or slower than normal.
We all lie. We do. There is a strange sense of comfort in lying, something that lets us off the hook (maybe temporarily, but nonetheless). Some, of course, lie more often and more frequently than others.
Why does one even lie, though. To put it very simply, there are 3, seemingly common reasons for why people take to embellishing the truth a little (or a lot)―1. When the truth is too painful to hear, 2. To buy some time, and 3. To ease a tense situation.
Most of us have been in each of these situations and have had to lie our way out of them. While some of these settings are capable of inducing a cold, cold, sweat-soaked symphony down our temple, there are others that are plain hilarious, when viewed in retrospect.
In keeping with that spirit, a few of the most obvious lies that people always tell and get away with (or so they'd like to believe) are highlighted next.

Most Obvious Lies

I'll be there in 5...

... When all you're really thinking is, in 5 minutes I'll be 20 minutes away from being there. Because no matter how much late you get there, you can always blame the traffic, right? Classic lie, this one.

I'm Fine.

Dragging people into the layered complications of your life is not really something that you're looking forward to, and neither you want to make yourself vulnerable to every onlooker. So, no matter if you're down in the dumps, going through a breakup, having a splitting headache and are having a bad day, you're still going to answer with a 'I'm fine'.

I'm 29.

Because 29 is like 10 years younger than 30, right? You pretty much stretch your '29 years old' title till the last second of your official birthday. You will wear it like a medallion, showing it off proudly like you're better than 'those 30 year olds'.

I'm sorry I didn't take your call. The phone was in the other room.

Or it was on silent, or the screen wasn't functioning or the this and the that. But many a times actually, the phone is in your hands and you don't want to take it.

I'm only a little short of 6 feet and own a business.

Read, I'm about half a foot shorter than 6 feet and own a newspaper stand across the road. Even if you're exaggerating, people do get the drift. Online dating profiles are some of the most difficult to fill out, considering that you're being judged on the basis of the smallest, most minute detail. So then, tweaking the profile a little is common.

Thank you. I loved it!

Really? Did you love the sweater with the 2 doves necking on its front that aunt Maria got for you? That's what we thought. But of course, most of us know, it's easier to get all excited and beam and bare the teeth a little more than usual, than to say otherwise, come off sounding like an insensitive jerk, and hurt their feelings.

I'll exercise from Monday...

... Is what you tell the world, and you tell yourself, but come Monday morning and the eyelids feel like lead and the blanket wrapped around you feels like second skin, and those dreams, oh those dreams pull you back.

Sorry, I won't be able to make it. I have a work thing.

Translation- I will be sitting in my pajamas, hoarding on junk food and watching Netflix. Why interact with society and get judged for your life choices, when you can drown in nonfictional characters who don't judge you?

I have a year's experience as a landscape management consultant.

Mowing the lawn and watering the plants is not being a landscape management consultant. You know that, we know that, and the people looking to hire you, probably know that as well. Embellishing the truth on the resume is one of the most common lies that people take to in the professional world. Sometimes it pays, and sometimes it doesn't.

It wasn't me.

It could be anything― recording over your dad's game, breaking your mum's favorite China plate, getting a dent on the boyfriend's car... just perfect the confused, mildly shocked face and a convincing tone to go with it before you try the 'It wasn't me'.
We all lie. A small fib, a tiny white lie, a little tweaking of the truth. And it's OK as long as no one gets hurt. But while one may think that they're quite the craftsmen in spinning these tales, the other person might be on and not like it. But then again, it wasn't you, was it?